Posts by life is to short

96

Special Pioneer Couple Living at a Kingdom Hall In Miami FL, get the dreaded Letter

by James Jack in

just got a phone call from an older sister saying that a couple that got re-assigned from bethel 4 years ago to live at their kh apartment as special pioneers, just received a letter saying "as of january 2016, your special pioneer assignment will be discontinued".. they live in a south miami kh(snapper creek congregation).. this couple had only served in bethel for 15 years before they were sent out into the special pioneer work.

they are now in their mid 50's and the sister said that they have to find part time jobs to support themselves.. the older sister (does not have a pc or internet), says that the couple are just devastated!

.

life is to short

I just feel it's sad, not all of us who gave up our lives wanted glory. I did it because I really felt that is what God wanted me to do. I just think it is sad.

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47

Suicide or Real Freedom? - My Story As One Of Jehovah's Witnesses

by dubstepped in

"sometimes i think the only thing i could do that wouldn't upset someone would be to kill myself.".

those were the frustrated words of my friend as we stood out in his large yard in the country, just about to enjoy a nice bonfire on a beautiful night.

what was it that could have been a lesser evil than killing himself?

life is to short

So well written. You described so much of how I felt, I thought of suicide so often while I was pioneering and I just could not understand why I wanted to die so bad because I was in the "truth" with the happiest religion.

I now understand, though I still struggle with depression and anxiety and probably always will as a by product of the religion.

Thanks for witting such a great post.

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80

ANNOUNCEMENT CLIP ...2015 Annual meeting Sam Herd confirming what we knew a month ago about slow down and halt of worldwide construction

by Watchtower-Free in

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i_h68ktwpim&feature=youtu.be.

life is to short

wow cult classic that is so sad and yet I know it happens. When we were at Bethel the cut back on the full time commuters, funny how that upset me but I still did not get it that it's a cult. Well there was this one sister who had moved to New York just to work at Bethel and she did not really work. She was just really strange well of course she got let go but she would not leave. She just kept showing up anyway. They extended her leave time at least twice but she still kept coming.

We left Bethel ourselves about that time and she was still "working" when we left. I always wondered what happened. So unlike what Herd said they are not happy about this I can guarantee it.

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21

'Seek the Kingdom First' Economics

by Tornintwo in

jw
friends

has anyone else's family finances been victim to the 'seek the kingdom first' economic policy?.

for years, my husband and i have had our own business, my husband is not the most proactive guy, prefers to go in field service than to work, but he has always encouraged me to 'rely on jehovah and all these other things will be added to you', 'seek the kingdom first' etc etc.

there have been times, such as when i was heavily pregnant and we lost a big deal, that i have been begging jehovah on hands and knees to honour that promise, wondering why he wasn't helping us.

life is to short

I am in the same place. My husband has told me Jehovah only helps when you get to the very edge and have one foot over the cliff and are ready to jump financially. It also mean's that Jehovah will only give you what you need to just exist which means it could be just one slice of bread a day. It would be enough for you to live on and nothing more.

I am not joking that is how he truly feels. I stupidly bought into it. We pioneered where the need was great, other pioneers were buying new cars and parking them two blocks away so as to not get door dings on them and then squeezing their fat bodies into our Honda Civic. There were going to on date nights to restaurants that I could not dream of going to. We never even had date nights as my husband was to busy being an elder.

I got on my knees begging and pleading with Jehovah so many times, crying my eye's out, pleading for help. I had a key to the hall as I was a pioneer and there were times I would go into the hall alone and get on my knees pleading and pleading with Jehovah for help.

Nothing, I got nothing, but I was yelled at by the other pioneers for not having money. That is all I got. It is just so frustrating. Living on one slice of bread a day is just a joke and we have been down to that little at times. My husband just kept telling me to keep my blinders on and focus on the Kingdom. It's hard to when you are watching everyone else have a life in the religion and you are living on nothing.

All I can say is it is just crazy and I truly think it is a mental illness that causes people to think that way. It is not right and if there is a God that is not what he wants from us.

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21

You have to admit, the carrot is pretty alluring.

by John Aquila in

there were several families that were visiting my mom today and i was sitting in and just listening to all of them talk..

they started talking about the recent shooting at the university.

and its so easy for them because all they have to say is;.

life is to short

You summed it very well. I never thought about it that way. I guess that is the very reason I stayed in also. I saw so much wrong, when I pioneered and was at Bethel but I always thought the new system would fix it and the new system was always close. It definitely would come before the year 2000, then it would definitely come before 2010.

Then one day I realized that it was not coming. It was horrible to loose that hope I still feel so empty and I wish sometimes I could go back to that way of thinking but its kind of like realizing there is no Santa Claus once you know you can't unknow it. You are so right that is why I stayed in for so long.

Love your posts and take on matters by the way.

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42

1975 all over again!!!

by John Aquila in

wt study edition jan. 2015.

here is the bait:.

as the number of kingdom proclaimers increases and as we near the end of this system of things, there is an urgent need for more facilities.

life is to short

Oh and I remember one time Don Underwood went on a rant about temporary's expecting help. How the Society was not there to help ones get back to NY to work, and that the ones in charge such as himself expected them to pay for at lest their first time coming back to work and then and only then would the Society think about paying for airfare in the future. While we were there some very well do do elders came back all expenses paid. That NEVER happened to any of the rank and file JW's only those who were had money and were connected so someone at Bethel. None of those who had their way paid for needed money to get back. It really, really bothered me but I again tried not to think about it too much.

Also the very first week we were there Gill Nazoroff ( not sure if I am spelling his name right ) went on a rant saying how sick he was hearing from ones who had come back to work and then left and were struggling to make it on the outside and blaming Bethel for their problems. I so clearly remember him saying no one forced them to come and they should have counted the cost.

At the time Gill's comment really bothered me hugely but like everything I tried not to think of it and keep my blinders on like the good little JW I was raised to be.

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42

1975 all over again!!!

by John Aquila in

wt study edition jan. 2015.

here is the bait:.

as the number of kingdom proclaimers increases and as we near the end of this system of things, there is an urgent need for more facilities.

life is to short

We did this in 1990. Sold everything, drove back to Brooklyn to work on 90 Sands with only what our 1984 high milled used Honda Civic could hold. The high miles came from driving 35,000 miles a year in the county pioneering. It was the same push back than with the same wordage in the magazines and from the stage.

What the car could hold was all we had to our name. We gave up everything. Two and a half year latter it was goodbye hope you make it somewhere but expect nothing from us,, don't let the door hit you in the butt. We took a vow of poverty, gave up some of the best money earning years of our life, years that cannot be replaced.

We came back to the congregation and everyone treated us like we were stupid, dumb and lower than scum for being so stupid as to not have jobs and a place to live. NO ONE HELPED US AT ALL. I totally felt like everyone in the "truth" felt we were idiots.

We did have a few elders offer us jobs working for them minimum wage which was $ 4.00 an hour where we were. $32.00 a day or $640.00 a month. Just to get a cheep rental was $800.00 a month.

It was so scary and terrifying. I was still a believer stupidly and I prayed and prayed and prayed my brains out. NOTHING from Jehovah. I worked three jobs and my husband got a full time job so much for going back into pioneering like we were told to do from Bethel.

All I can say is these stores are either made up or those people are in for a huge, massive let down.

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17

Pioneering

by Sabin in

i`ve heard many pioneers claim that they are deserving of material things because they are the ones who make all the sacrifices.

one claimed that jehovah had made sure that she got absolutely everything she wanted right down to shelfs so she could put up pic`s of her family because, to quote "we are so deserving, we`ve made the sacrifice".

mind you this is the same sister who told me "it`s harder for me having my son d.fs than for a mother loosing her child in death".

life is to short

The whole time i pioneered Jehovah never gave me a dime, through I never EVER, EVER, went around begging either. I would have rather died then to do that. We never got anything from anyone.

I felt and still feel pioneering is a choose that one makes and it is up to the pioneer to take care of himself.

That being said looking back I think the other pioneers must of felt that my husband and I had money because we never whined and complained about how broke we were. We had at one time ten pioneers in the hall, we were in the hall because the need was great for elders and my husband was any only elder for over half the time we were there and I never saw him as a newly wed. But that was OK because as the CO told me Jehovah needed him and I could have my husband in the new system which was going to happen very, very, very, very soon.

Oh the stories I could tell about the free loading pioneers it's just amazing. One couple who had NO MONEY for gas or a car to use in service because they bought a new one that they parked two blocks from the kingdom hall so as to not get door dings on it and just could not use in service because they could not afford to get it damaged as they had payments to make but like I said they also could not give anyone a cent for gas either, somehow this very, very broke couple could scrape the money to go to eat every day at the fast food restaurant and suck up all the fating food and then stop at all the convenience stores they could find and suck up sodas, chips and candy bars while they squeezed their fat bodies into our car. Then the wife got jealous very jealous because for one I just could not afford to eat like that and second ridding around in a car eating such fat foods would make me very car sick. So this wife HATED ME because I was thin. You just can't win.

That was just one example of many just as bad. The pioneers were selfish, rude, offensive, arrogant, self-centered, jerks. And I was unfortunately stuck in the middle of them.

I had every pioneer over for dinner, always had coffee after book study, NEVER once were ever invite to any of their homes for dinner though they did go to each others homes because I would hear about it in the car groups about how much fun they had and it was to bad I was not there but I was NEVER invited. We always used our car in service, sometimes my husband would even loan out our truck when no one else would have a car so at least three or four could squeeze into it for service. WE NEVER got a cent for gas, expect the twice I flipped out and this sister counted out five dimes and dropped them into my hand telling me that was all she had.

Even now it is just so upsetting to remember back on those times, such a sad time in my life. I hated every minute of it.

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83

What woke you up?

by Israel Ricky Gonzales in

in march of 2014, i was a very active jw, a ministerial servant, gave a public talk, was an attendant for the memorial, and one of 4 cleaning captains for an international convention of 40,000+ attendees.

so what woke me up?

an innocent comment from a co-worker about the candice conti court case rang a bell that could not be unrung.

life is to short

For me it was pedophiles. I was a very true believer who would have given my life. I pioneered while living on nothing and I mean only $200.00 a month and serving where the need was great. It was beyond hard, than I went to Bethel and saw a lot of bad things but still came out of it with my faith very intact. Now I am a sister in the religion my husband was an elder and put the religion ahead of our marriage and even his life. He conducted the school while having a major heart attack because none of the other elders would fill in for him. That's how die hard he was and I was not far behind.

Than a pedophile moved into the hall we were attending and it was unbelievable how it was treated. From that one pedophile I learned that there were two more pedophiles in the hall one who was mentoring a young brother who happened to have a mentally challenged little sister who this pedophile eventually was able to watch alone at the meetings taking the little girl into the backroom alone and outside all with all the elders blessings.

To make this short my husband was deleted after being an elder for 32 years and putting being an elder ahead of our marriage. Like one CO told me I when I was falling apart once I can have a husband in the new system Jehovah needed him now. So my husband was deleted because I was not in subjection enough because I refused to take one of the pedophiles door to door. Everything fell apart after that.

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59

Introducing Myself

by Peony in

i've finally got round to joining the site (after over 2 years lurking!

i was born into jws, pioneered for 10 years (met my husband at pioneer school).

had health issues that saw me catapulted away from 'the centre of the cong' and wow what a different place that was!

life is to short

Welcome

I can totally relate about the panic attacks, I used to get those along with unbelievably horrible head aches and my heart used to race sometimes while I was just sitting at the meetings so badly that I thought I would pass out.

Now I am a very healthy person outside of the religion and this only happened when I was at the meeting ts or around a JW's. The panic attacks still do happen when I am confronted with a JW who was hateful to me say at the store. I will have an attack shortly afterwords.

My husband was an elder also for 32 years and deleted because I was not in subjection enough because I refused to take a level 2 child molester door to door in our car.

It was such a dark and horrible time for me when I left. I am sorry for the pain you have went though and glad you found this sight. It is wonderful to be here. Thanks for sharing your story.

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